I HAVE BEEN CHEATING ON YOGA LATELY…

I have been cheating on yoga lately, and I feel like an arsehole for doing it.

But, let me explain why, and it really will show that I love yoga!

3 weeks ago I had to put my soul dog down and it broke my heart. I tried getting on my mat, but all I did was cry (yin tears anyone?!). I didn’t want to disrupt the room, so I have not been back.

IN THREE WEEKS.

Sorry yoga.

I have been running though. Every single day. And it has made me reflect on yoga and what it really brings me.

See, I have been running, because running takes me away from myself. I am outside with a beautiful view, sunshine, loud music (or a podcast about murder 😬), and just my feet pounding the pavement. I am so far away from Emily, and THAT is why I run.

But you see, yoga does the opposite for me. It puts me right in my skin. It sits me firmly next to me, and there’s no getting away! And that is why I have not been able to get on my mat, because me is sad right now!

Even if we just look at Yoga from an exercise stand point, I do not know any other physical exercise that really does this. At the start of the practise, we go through the koshas- the layers of self, so straight away you are invited to put your attention back on to yourself. To check in.

The physical body- Annamaya kosha- how are your bones, your muscles, your skin

The energy body- Pranamaya kosha- how is your energy, your life force (prana)

The mental body- Manomaya kosha- how are your thoughts, what do you feel

The wisdom body- Vijnanamaya kosha- how is your intuition? What do you have to say

This is before you’ve done a single cat cow…. Or at least, it should be!

I have not been able to sit with myself because my grief has just been so big. I am okay but the minute someone asks me if I am, I lose my shit- even if that someone asking is me! And so I have not rolled out my mat because I have just found it so intimidating to be with me and it has made me fall even harder in love with yoga, even though I cannot go on a date with it just yet!

So just because I have been cheating with running, it does not mean I do not love yoga. It just means that I have come to see the true magic of this practise and just how much it puts us back in connection with ourselves.

I WILL be back… I just need a minute to put my broken heart back together, and that may just be with my runners on for a little bit longer.

How lucky are we to have a practise that does this? Thank you yoga- I hope you see that this is actually a love note to you, not a breakup letter!